8 years later...I'll Never Forget!

On September 11, 2001, I was sitting in Accounting class with my brother when we heard the horrific news of the Twin Towers. I remember being glued to the T.V. for an entire week and crying right along with the families that still didn't know if their loved ones were alive or not. I also remember when my sister decided to join the military and was scared to death that would be the last time I would see her. I am so proud of our military. To you...I say Thank you!

A Milestone!

Well, I am celebrating here in South Carolina because for an entire week, Colin has been pretend playing!!!! This is huge in our world. He has built a castle and Mickey Mouse is now his imaginary friend and he even buckles him up in the car. I almost cried when I saw him doing this. It is amazing that Colin is figuring things out WITHOUT us prompting him! AWESOME JOB BUDDY!

Late nights and Early Mornings

I am pretty sure that somehow along the way, God looked down at me and said "What can I do to mess with her today?" Well, I have two extremely different children. And I mean Polar opposites. I have one very high strung and attention getter boy to a laid back let mom figure out why I am so quiet girl. Along with these they have amazingly different sleeping patterns too.

Morgan goes to bed around 8-9 pm every night. It is like clockwork with her. She starts to get a bit grumpy, you ask if she wants to go to bed, she says no, I lay her down, she cries all of 1 minute and is out like a light. Then in the morning she is up with the freaking birds. She is very polite about it usually too. She starts out very quietly yelling at me until she is screaming at me to pick her up. No tears, just trying to let me know she is awake. I look at the clock and it is always 1 hour before I really need to be up. She is usually in a great mood and ready to get her day going.

Colin stays up until way past my bed time. Last night he was up until after 12 p.m. and tonight he was up until around 10:45. I am lucky that he actually sleeps. With Autism it is very common for them not to sleep. A lot of them suffer from insomnia. So I count my blessings that I am not up all night. He will sleep until 10 or 11 in the morning if I would let him. Most days I dress him while he is still asleep. It is rather commical.

So I am wondering if it is at all possible, if someone would look down on me and just let me go to bed at 8 pm and sleep until 11 am??? Please? :-)

sleep walking and eggs

I was woke up this morning at God knows what time it was to a "crash, thunk, boom!" Figuring it was my sister's cats I just rolled over and decided to deal with the devastation tomorrow at a decent hour. I rolled over to an empty pillow. Colin was gone. That motherly extinct kicked into high gear and I managed to untangle myself, get out of bed, and grab my glasses in less than 5 seconds. I noticed our door was open and ran downstairs. I called out his name, but he didn't answer. Then I walked into the kitchen and found him crying on the ground next to an open refrigerator door. I realized the poor kid was sleep walking again. Now is you have ever seen Step Brothers the movie you know not to wake a sleep walker. This isn't just for laughs, but in real life you really don't do it. So I very quietly closed the fridge door, stepped over the broken eggs, closed the dishwasher door, turned off the sink faucet, picked up the pans on the ground, closed the pantry door, put the cat food away, and very gently coaxed Colin back to bed. He was mumbling something about eggs and dishes the whole way upstairs. He crawled right back into bed and covered up. I didn't hear a peep out of him for the rest of the night. This isn't the first time he has done this either. It isn't an every night kinda thing, but more like once a month. I guess I am going to have to bring this up to his pediatrician when we get back to Ohio. Lovely the things our kids do. The ironic thing is..he doesn't even like eggs!

South Carolina

I haven't been on here in awhile and I wanted to post about my stay here in very sunny South Carolina. It is hotter than one can describe. When I step out of the house in the morning I am always greeted with the humidity which I try very carefully not to choke on! It is very beautiful here and the weather is a wonder as well. One minute it is raining so hard you can't see in front of you and then next minute (And I mean literally a minute) the sun is shining and the only way you knew it had just rained is because the grass and leaves are shiny. Amazing.

The kiddos are enjoying it here. They love the fact they get to go outside. There little tans are a nice marker for this. They can't stay out long, because it is just too hot, but are bribed fairly easily with popsicles.

Here are a few pictures of the kids in South Carolina!

Bowling

Aunt Jessie and I took the kids bowling last night. Colin loves to bowl more than he loves eating. He scored a fifty unassisted and Morgan got over 60, but Jess and I helped her quite a bit. I think Morgan liked the nachos better than the bowling..but hey, we had cheese man! They did great and Colin was wonderful taking turns. Here are some and pictures of the kids.

I made it

Well, today is my last day of school. I have a written final and something they call "Walk of Fame". I guess all of our chef instructors line up and we walk down a path and they clap for us. Since I have been a blubbering mess for a week now, I am sure this will only spark the tears..yet again. I can't belive it is finally here. It is like graduating from high school all over again. You wait for it forever and then BAM it is right there in your face, reality. I am scared, excited, sad, anxious, and depressed all at the same time. My friend Amy calls it being a "hot mess". That is for sure!

So, anyways, Goodbye Minnesota and Goodbye to a great set of friends, whom I will never forget and hope to visit soon!

Toad, if you are reading this, I love you and I will miss you like crazy! :-) You are the best. Not many people would step aside and let someone they love live their dream. You are doing that and so much more. How lucky am I to have you?

Leaving and starting over...again

I am in my final days of school here is beautiful Minnesota. I realize every day how much I am going to miss this place. It has been a huge stepping stone for me. I really feel like a found another piece of myself here. Colin has come leaps and bounds from when we moved here a year ago, Morgan talks, runs, and fixes her own cereal. I found a babysitter that I am pretty sure is a Saint and I realized how much sacrifice my husband made when we made the trip out here. We have all grown..physically and emotionally. I believe that we were meant to come here so we could grow as a family as well.

School has been a Godsend. I have developed friendships I didn't even know existed. People who see me for who I am. It has been wonderful and I will miss it tremendously, however it is time to move on and start another chapter in our lives. So here are some pictures of things I have done at school. I really have amazed myself for being able to accomplish so much. I am proud of who I have become.

Hair cuts and happiness

All week I have been preparing Colin for another hair cut. Todd and I totally dread these days, but unfortuantely, Colin takes after his Daddy and his hair grows incredibly fast. Today was the day to take him in. I didn't say anything to him this morning and got both the kids ready to go. Once we were in the car, I let him know what we were doing and promised him chicken nuggets, fries, and pop if he did a good job. Todd and I talked about how much we hated this time and wished it was all ready over. I volunteered to hold him down and fight with him every time the clippers or scisscors came near him. I checked us in, sat down and Todd and I joked over which hair stylist was about to have a really bad day. Colin's name was called and sure enough, the tears and whining started. I did my usual reassuring and telling him what a good boy he was. I let the stylist know he was autistic and that hair cuts are his worst nightmare. She smiled and said, "No Problem, we will do what we can." That was all I could ask for. Then for the first time ever, Colin stopped crying and just sat there. I was literally speechless. He was watching Curious George on T.V. and occasionally dodging his head when she came too close to his ears. After 5 minutes he began getting a little anxious and wanted to be all done. I held his hand and the stylist finished up. He did great!!!!! I couldn't believe it. I remember looking over at Todd at one point and his jaw was about to hit the floor because he couldn't believe Colin wasn't screaming. Now, there were a few tears and the occasional head movement, but man have we come so far!!!!

When we started Colin in his 40 hours a week of ABA therapy, I had two main goals in mind. Potty training and being able to sit through a hair cut! Well, they have met and exceeded all of my expectations! Colin continues to amaze me every day with the amount of knowledge he has, and today was no exception!

It has FINALLY happened!

Well Folks, it has finally happened! As every parent of a little girl wants to do from the moment they even find out they have a little girl is put their hair in pig tails! I am proud to say that when Morgan was born, she was bald as a cue ball! My hopes and dreams were immediately dashed! Corn syrup and bows were what we did, just so people would know she was a girl. Today, I told her I was doing her hair. The look of confusion, curiousness, and utter horror crossed her face in an instant. I went and got the brush, hair ties, and a mirror so she could watch and went to work. In less than 2 minutes, I had accomplished what I have been waiting for for over 2 years now..the little girl has pig tails! She said they are "pretty". I can move on now to making sure she doesn't date until she is 30!

Annual Apartment Easter Egg Hunt

Well, the Easter Bunny has managed to hide the eggs all over our apartment today. I do believe the kids had a wonderful time looking for eggs. When I told Colin yesterday that the Easter Bunny was coming to leave presents and eggs he looked at me, slightly confused, and said "umm....Santa?" How cute is that? Morgan had a blast running after the eggs before Colin could get to them.Here are some pictures and video of them this morning.

Bragging...just a little

As a mom you have the right to brag about your children. There is some unwritten rule that makes people that are around have to endure all of the information that you say about your kids..so here it is, I am going to brag...just a little.

Colin

Can now zip up his jacket with no help - super cool by the way!
Write his name - made me cry
Tell you what emotions you are acting out
Makes his own mac and cheese in the microwave - of course with adult supervison



Morgan

Says the whole alphabet
Can count to 15 - how cool is that!?
Can say Colin



Mommy
Can still get dressed by herself
Manages to still go to school and work everyday
Hasn't had a nervous breakdown..quite yet!

Daddy

Still has a job -thank God!
Still has the car working - how I don't know!
Is ready for a vacation!


What can I say? I am a proud Mom!

Welcome to Holland

April is Autism Awarness Month. I thought this would be a fitting article to have on my blog. This is a beautiful poem that was read in our parent orientation meeting for Autism. I sat and cried through the whole thing. No parent wants to hear the words "There is something wrong with your child", but this puts a new perspective on things. It really holds true!

Enjoy and grab a kleenex!

"Welcome to Holland"
By Emily Perl Kingsley, 1987. All rights reserved.

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away...because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. But...if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Good News on the Home Front!

I have finally gotten around to doing some major research into where we are going to put Colin when we return to Ohio. Unfortunatley, Ohio is behind the times compared to Minnesota when it comes to Autism. They do have a bill in the House right now making health insurance companies pay for autistic services and therapies. I just hope to God it passes!

I did find a school for him and have set up an appointment to go and tour the facility. To put him full time M-F 8-3pm it is $40,000 a year. Now, Ohio does offer an Autism Scholarship that will cover $20,000. But that leaves Todd and I to come up with the other $20,000. Since that is practically what I make in a year, I am going to have to work two jobs just to pay for it. It breaks down to $2000 a month. INSANE! I told myself that is only for a year before he goes to preschool. We can do this!

Now I just have to find a daycare for Morgan that won't break the bank too much!

What we do for our kids! :-)

The Shiner

On my way home last night from work I did my usual phone call home to let Todd know that I was finally on my way. Todd informed me that Morgan is becoming more and more like me every day. Unfortuantley for Morgan, that includes my clutziness. The poor girl flipped out of her little red rocker and then promptly smashed her left eye into the drums for our Rock Band. I immediately panicked. I asked every question possible, is she ok? Does she need stitches(this question came about after he let me know he wiped all the blood off her face)? Is her actual eye ok? He said that she was fine, but she was going to have a black eye tomorrow. I did what any parent would do, I came straight home and woke the child up from a nice and peaceful sleep so I could check out the damage for myself. I was quite shocked to find that her eye was almost swollen shut. I gave her some motrin and rocked her for a bit, then sent her back to bed. So here are some pictures of the "shiner" today.

Sorry Morgan..you are in for a lot worse if you take after your Momma!

Seriously?!!!

We have been having trouble with our Pontiac Grand Prix. It doesn't always like to start. If this isn't enough for the poor car, Todd went out this morning and it was broken into. The stereo, cd's, and my friends' books on cd were stolen. It is absolutely amazing what people will do right now. I am so mad it is unreal. A very nice officer came out to take our report, but we all know that they know in their heads that the person who did this will not be caught. Well, at least this guy had something to do for 20 minutes. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

The Call of the Wild

Last night around midnight, I was woken up by the weirdest sound outside. After coming to, I realized I had heard that sound before. Sounds sort of like a crow being strangled. I jumped out of bed and peeked through our blinds. Sure enough, I saw some movement in our back yard area. The fox was back. Little did I know that he had brought his/her entire pack with them. I could count 6 or 7, but they moved so quickly it was hard to tell. I carefully came out into our living room and soundlessly opened the patio door. I watched them for over an hour. They continued to call to each other. It was truly amazing and awesome to watch. They played in the snow and very carefully made their way up to the edge of the brush. One by one they came closer and closer to the patio. I wish that my camera would have been able to capture them. They are so much bigger than you would think.

Anyways, here is a link to hear what the fox sounds like. It is so unique, yet unforgetable! Click on #11. That is exactly what I was awoken by last night! Isn't nature great?!?

Fox Sound

Morgan's First Haircut

Our Little Princess!

It made her head itch!

Sitting Pretty!

Mom! What the heck is she doing?

We took the kids to get their hair cut this past Saturday. It was unofficially Morgan's first haircut. When she was 3 1/2 weeks old, they shaved some of her peach fuzz of her head so they could start an IV. That is when she had RSV. So on Saturday, I am going to remember that as her first haircut. She did fantastic as usual! She sat there and let the lady cut her bangs and trim up the back. When she looked in the mirror, she said "Pretty!". Of course you are Princess! Love you lots Ms. Morgan!

Steps of Hope

Colin eating all the whipped cream first!


Morgan cheesing it up with ice cream all over her face!

Colin Eating a much deserved M&M sundae after the long walk

Colin and Morgan at the walk!

Will you two please sit still so I can get your picture? haha

On Sunday, our family took part in the Steps of Hope Walk for Autism in Minnetonka. Ironically, once we got there I began thinking about about the fact that autism is a social disorder and most autistics don't like to be in a crowded place with lots of noise. Colin didn't do too bad though. It did some stimming, but got through it when we took a short "break" away from everything. He was really excited to see his therapists outside of school too! So here are some pictures from the walk! Thanks to everyone that donated! We raised $500! All the walkers raised just under $75,000!