Welcome to Holland

April is Autism Awarness Month. I thought this would be a fitting article to have on my blog. This is a beautiful poem that was read in our parent orientation meeting for Autism. I sat and cried through the whole thing. No parent wants to hear the words "There is something wrong with your child", but this puts a new perspective on things. It really holds true!

Enjoy and grab a kleenex!

"Welcome to Holland"
By Emily Perl Kingsley, 1987. All rights reserved.

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away...because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. But...if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Good News on the Home Front!

I have finally gotten around to doing some major research into where we are going to put Colin when we return to Ohio. Unfortunatley, Ohio is behind the times compared to Minnesota when it comes to Autism. They do have a bill in the House right now making health insurance companies pay for autistic services and therapies. I just hope to God it passes!

I did find a school for him and have set up an appointment to go and tour the facility. To put him full time M-F 8-3pm it is $40,000 a year. Now, Ohio does offer an Autism Scholarship that will cover $20,000. But that leaves Todd and I to come up with the other $20,000. Since that is practically what I make in a year, I am going to have to work two jobs just to pay for it. It breaks down to $2000 a month. INSANE! I told myself that is only for a year before he goes to preschool. We can do this!

Now I just have to find a daycare for Morgan that won't break the bank too much!

What we do for our kids! :-)

The Shiner

On my way home last night from work I did my usual phone call home to let Todd know that I was finally on my way. Todd informed me that Morgan is becoming more and more like me every day. Unfortuantley for Morgan, that includes my clutziness. The poor girl flipped out of her little red rocker and then promptly smashed her left eye into the drums for our Rock Band. I immediately panicked. I asked every question possible, is she ok? Does she need stitches(this question came about after he let me know he wiped all the blood off her face)? Is her actual eye ok? He said that she was fine, but she was going to have a black eye tomorrow. I did what any parent would do, I came straight home and woke the child up from a nice and peaceful sleep so I could check out the damage for myself. I was quite shocked to find that her eye was almost swollen shut. I gave her some motrin and rocked her for a bit, then sent her back to bed. So here are some pictures of the "shiner" today.

Sorry Morgan..you are in for a lot worse if you take after your Momma!

Seriously?!!!

We have been having trouble with our Pontiac Grand Prix. It doesn't always like to start. If this isn't enough for the poor car, Todd went out this morning and it was broken into. The stereo, cd's, and my friends' books on cd were stolen. It is absolutely amazing what people will do right now. I am so mad it is unreal. A very nice officer came out to take our report, but we all know that they know in their heads that the person who did this will not be caught. Well, at least this guy had something to do for 20 minutes. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

The Call of the Wild

Last night around midnight, I was woken up by the weirdest sound outside. After coming to, I realized I had heard that sound before. Sounds sort of like a crow being strangled. I jumped out of bed and peeked through our blinds. Sure enough, I saw some movement in our back yard area. The fox was back. Little did I know that he had brought his/her entire pack with them. I could count 6 or 7, but they moved so quickly it was hard to tell. I carefully came out into our living room and soundlessly opened the patio door. I watched them for over an hour. They continued to call to each other. It was truly amazing and awesome to watch. They played in the snow and very carefully made their way up to the edge of the brush. One by one they came closer and closer to the patio. I wish that my camera would have been able to capture them. They are so much bigger than you would think.

Anyways, here is a link to hear what the fox sounds like. It is so unique, yet unforgetable! Click on #11. That is exactly what I was awoken by last night! Isn't nature great?!?

Fox Sound

Morgan's First Haircut

Our Little Princess!

It made her head itch!

Sitting Pretty!

Mom! What the heck is she doing?

We took the kids to get their hair cut this past Saturday. It was unofficially Morgan's first haircut. When she was 3 1/2 weeks old, they shaved some of her peach fuzz of her head so they could start an IV. That is when she had RSV. So on Saturday, I am going to remember that as her first haircut. She did fantastic as usual! She sat there and let the lady cut her bangs and trim up the back. When she looked in the mirror, she said "Pretty!". Of course you are Princess! Love you lots Ms. Morgan!

Steps of Hope

Colin eating all the whipped cream first!


Morgan cheesing it up with ice cream all over her face!

Colin Eating a much deserved M&M sundae after the long walk

Colin and Morgan at the walk!

Will you two please sit still so I can get your picture? haha

On Sunday, our family took part in the Steps of Hope Walk for Autism in Minnetonka. Ironically, once we got there I began thinking about about the fact that autism is a social disorder and most autistics don't like to be in a crowded place with lots of noise. Colin didn't do too bad though. It did some stimming, but got through it when we took a short "break" away from everything. He was really excited to see his therapists outside of school too! So here are some pictures from the walk! Thanks to everyone that donated! We raised $500! All the walkers raised just under $75,000!